Feb 8, 2021Come Sit With MeIf you find me huddled in a pit, cold and scared and sad Reach out your arm to lift me up, stretch out for me your hand Don’t look down on me, don’t judge my pain, don’t tell me it’s alright Don’t turn around and walk away, don’t leave me in…Depression2 min readDepression2 min read
Feb 8, 2021Dancing the Twelve Step because there is no Two StepI’m in a 12-step program having never used alcohol or drugs. I’m in a 12-step program having never been a sex or porn addict. I’m in a 12-step program having always believed in a higher power and in the idea that I am not in control of outcomes. I am…12 Step Program3 min read12 Step Program3 min read
Feb 5, 2021I Don’t Know How to Be a Man“I don’t mean to speak for anyone else, but I’ve been a man for 34 years now and I think I know a bit about how men think.” “I’ve been a man for 34 years.” I sat with those words that were just a few seconds in a conversation that…Men3 min readMen3 min read
Feb 3, 2021I Am a White WomanTo be humane, to be anti-racist, to see people as our equals is to know that if we shed our skins, there is no easy way to tell us apart without a degree in forensic anthropology. Shed of our skins, our shared nature comes through. I’ve written before about the…Mental Health2 min readMental Health2 min read
Feb 1, 2021What They Said About Me Was TrueI was mocked relentlessly for being gay while growing up, even though I wasn’t out. I was a very naive child so I didn’t even know I was gay. until other people started calling me “homo” and “fag” and I tried to figure out what those words meant. Then I…Gay4 min readGay4 min read
Jan 30, 2021Dispatch from the Tunnel (21.01.30)My contribution today to my healing and to our shared experience is to write even though my chest feels heavy and my mind feels uncertain and I don’t know exactly what I want to say and I don’t want to be writing at all because it feels stupid and repetitive…Mental Health5 min readMental Health5 min read
Jan 29, 2021You Can (In)Validate Me“Only you can validate yourself,” says the group therapist to a member of the support group who has just shared that he feels unworthy. She looks at him and asks insistently: “Can you say: ‘I am worthy’, ‘I am enough’?” He responds that he cannot right now. …Mental Health Treatment4 min readMental Health Treatment4 min read
Jan 27, 2021It’s All In Your Head, Except It’s NotI’m sitting in a circle of white faces. I hate saying that because race shouldn’t matter, but it does, so I have to say it. The only other ethnic minority in the group is the therapist, who is a woman of Chinese descent. We’re discussing the training she went to…Racism6 min readRacism6 min read
Jan 8, 2021The Paradox of Our Lonely WorldI can’t imagine I’m the world’s loneliest man, though at times I feel like I am. I’d like to believe I’m not the world’s most wholistically unattractive man, though, from my sent-messages-to-response-rate ratio of 100-to-1, I might actually be. …Love4 min readLove4 min read
